Heroes Never Die
by Takianna
Summary: Rapid aging begins to catch up to one of the Grand Army of the Republic's finest. Very AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Items in this story in italics are memories.**

**Chapter 1**

His hair was graying around the temples, but that was the only things that denoted that he had aged. No he hadn't aged much at all in the ten years she had been in hiding with him. Although his body was starting to play games with him because of continued abuse from feats that most men wouldn't even attempt. He was just 20 years old now. She was 23 years old, but felt as though she was many, many, many years older. She was sure he felt the same way.

Ahsoka Tano smiled as she finished wiping the counter in the small hovel of a house where she lived with her companion. Rex, no longer using the military rank that had been given him, stood outside the small dwelling looking off in the distance. His body was rigid and in a perfect military parade rest with hands clasped in the small of his back, head held even and feet shoulder width apart. The smile widened on her face because she knew no matter how many years he had been out of service, it would never leave him. He would always be that soldier. It was the hero in him that had saved her life all those many nights ago.

"_Keep your head down Ahsoka," Rex said shoving her down again as she tried to peer over the small permacrete abutment they were hiding behind. They had been on the run for almost six hours and her small body was starting to get weary from running. Captain Rex continued to encourage her telling her it was only a few more steps, but how did he know how much longer they would have to run before they got off this world that had somehow turned completely upside down?_

"_There is what I'm looking for," his rough voice said through the helmet's vocal filter. He pushed the range finder roughly back up to where it sat like an antenna on his helmet and sat next to her, his back bracing against the wall. He checked the charge in his weapon again. It was the only weapon they had left and she knew that the charge must be getting low. They had to fight their way out of several places already. Ahsoka's lightsaber had been lost as they ran from the Jedi Temple earlier in the day. She didn't really care if she ever got it back. Being a jedi now was a scary thing. _

_She blinked keeping the tears away as she thought about what had been lost. Who had been lost..._

"What are you smiling at?' the voice of her protector said waking her from the dream of that night on Coruscant.

"You," she said easily looking up at him. "Seems like you can take the soldier from the battlefield, but he still can't stop being a soldier."

Rex chuckled easily, something that had not been that easy to get him to do in the first few years they had been in hiding together. He would often just give sideways glances because humor was somewhat uncomfortable for him. Seeing so many people die would make one's sense of humor hard to find, she knew. It had happened to her too.

"Well, maybe I still want to be a soldier."

She folded the towel in her hand and hung it over the handle of one of the drawers in the small kitchen. Since when had she become such a good housekeeper? She had always been neat, but now she found herself charting her day by what room she was going to clean up next. Not the way of a warrior, but a warrior who no longer wanted to fight a war that was impossible to win had to find something to do with her time.

Crossing her arms, she leaned against the counter and looked at him. "Still want to be a soldier?" she said her lips parting widely in a smile. "I think you are the only one."

A shadow flashed across Rex's face, but the smile never left his lips. For some reason, he always knew how to make sure Ahsoka didn't know what he was truly feeling. Even being locked together for 10 years with only each other as company, had not opened him fully to her. There were secrets that Rex kept hidden away in his heart. She just wished that he would trust her enough to tell her the things that he thought were his alone. She had spilled many of her secrets to him during the time they had been together.

"_It's just a dream," Rex said holding her close and trying to reassure her that she wasn't locked in mortal combat with the evil in the universe._

"_There was fire and I couldn't...I couldn't get away. It was licking at my ankles. I could feel the fire burning me," Ahsoka sobbed as she clung to the one person who knew the nightmares of her life because he had lived them too._

"_It's not happening," he said pulling away from her and wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of the shirt he was sleeping in. He cared for her like she was his child. There was something very paternal about the way he interacted with him. Although he never had a father to learn from himself._

_Her breathing was quick and shallow, but she began to settle down. The reassurance of Rex's hand in hers was enough to help her realize that this was real life, not what she had been dreaming about._

"_Cover back up and lay down," Rex said pulling the blanket up towards her shoulders._

"_I'm afraid to sleep...what if the fire is there again?"_

_Rex smiled easily, his brown eyes twinkling in the darkness and his voice was reassuring, as it always was. "Just picture me there with you and I won't let anything happen, not even in your dreams."_

"What were you looking at outside?" She said quickly changing the subject because she knew that he was uncomfortable with answering questions about being a soldier.

"There seems to be someone moving about on the horizon," Rex said placing his hands on the counter top. "I'm not sure who or what it is, but they are still pretty far off."

She twisted her fingers together. Suddenly, they had become rather interesting. It was always the same. They had to hide and if they were discovered, well Rex would take care of it. She knew that killing was not the way of the jedi, but it was the way of the soldier. It was not the first time that he had done things to protect them from prying eyes. She didn't really want to think about it either.

"I'm sure that we are fine," he said.

"I know we are, but it's you I worry about."

"Don't worry about me little one, I'm sure that I can take care of the both of us."

Ahsoka nodded, her headtails bobbing along with the motion. She had grown very tall since they had gone into hiding. Most people wouldn't even recognize her as even being a jedi. To most, she looked like any other Togruta adult. Rex was the one who was easier to spot in a crowd. He always mourned the fact that he shared a face with so many who now spent their time in service to the Empire.

"I know you can because you have for so long."


	2. Chapter 2

**Italics items are memories of Ahsoka.**

**Chapter 2**

They ate in relative silence. Ahsoka knew he was thinking. Thinking about what he would do should someone approach them. His eyes were on his plate, but she could feel the turmoil in his soul. Although he hadn't been a soldier in an official capacity for many years, Rex's mind still worked the same way. Thinking out scenarios and the best way to handle them. There was no escaping who he was and what he was meant to be.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ahsoka asked her hand moving to cover his on the table. Before the affection would've been strange, but in this circumstance, it was what it was and what was keeping them both alive.

Rex had never spoken of his needs as a man when she was younger and they were in hiding. When they had been on the planet hiding for three years, it finally dawned on her that he was a man and not just her protector. Things had changed between them in that time. She had grown and was showing signs of her female maturity and he was noticing. Although he had tried miserably to hide it.

The time had come when they only had each other. They were alone in the small dwelling, passing each other in the halls, in the kitchen and in the small outside garden they had planted to help them survive. In those moments, they had found themselves as something more than companions.

Ahsoka smiled inwardly as she recalled the first time he had kissed her._ Although he claimed that he was sorry, she knew that it had been his intention for many weeks, but he had never had enough nerve to do it. They were outside in the garden and she had cut her hand. Rex cradled it softly in his strong, well calloused hands, and told her that she would be alright. She remembered the smell of him so close and then their lips met in one heated moment of unbridled passion for each other._

_Quickly Rex pulled away from her whispering his excuses and apologies before he removed himself quickly from the garden, leaving her there with flushed cheeks and confusion in her soul. She didn't know what she had done so wrong that would cause him to walk away from her. _

_Later that evening, Rex explained that he didn't want to take advantage of her. She was just 17 and he was, well as he put it "so much older." He also explained that she was his superior and it wasn't appropriate. She didn't care because the war was long over and they were no longer fighting. What 17 year old woman wouldn't want a strong man like him to take care of her? No, she told herself, it wasn't right if he felt that way, then she needed to respect his wishes._

_They spent several days trying to avoid each other in a house that seemed smaller every time they passed each other. Rex hadn't been able to even look in her eyes, but she continued to acknowledge him as best her embarrassment would let her. It was rather difficult those few days avoiding the one person who had been her sole companion for so long._

"_We have to talk about this," she finally said cornering him in small kitchen. The look on his face was that of animal which had been caught by a speeder's running lights._

"_There is nothing to say," he said his voice tightening. _

"_Yes, there is."_

_Rex looked down at his hands trying to avoid even looking into her blue eyes. She cupped his chin with her small hands and made him look at her like a mother who is trying to explain to a child that they didn't do anything wrong._

"_What happened is okay, Rex," she said gently smiling at him trying to reassure him that he had not done anything that she hadn't thought about a million times while they had been stuck there together._

"_No, it's not," Rex said shaking his head and breaking the contact she had with him. "You couldn't understand. You've never been trained the way I have."_

_Ahsoka sighed quietly and went about her business of the day. There was nothing she could do to convince him that they needed each other. She wouldn't waste her time telling him if he didn't want to listen. There were other things she could do to convince him._

_As the days of avoiding each other stretched into weeks, Ahsoka gave up all hope of anything ever coming from the one touch they had shared in the garden. Her heart was broken because she thought of him so differently then he did her. Rex would never be able to look past the fact that she was a jedi, although she had forgotten about holding to any tenants of the order long ago when her hope for finding others had been shattered._

Ahsoka smiled at Rex who had taken her hand and grasped it affectionately in his. Love in the middle of the war was something both had never thought of, but it had happened just the same. She was glad that in time Rex figured out that she wasn't the general he thought she was and had gotten over his fear of being with her

_The night had been still and the wind had died down early in the evening. Ahsoka had stripped down to her underclothes and wrapped her jedi cloak around her. It was the last remaining garment she kept from her old life. Ahsoka embraced the local culture, changing her dress to what the people of the planet wore. The cloak was the one thing she allowed herself to hold onto for solace._

_Wrapping it around herself more tightly, Ahsoka stepped out into the small patch of garden in their backyard. The ground felt warm under her bare feet, keeping the heat from the sunny day. Standing completely still, she reached out and felt her surroundings. She knew that it was dangerous to even consider using the force, but they were so far away from anyone, she thought this one time would be fine._

_The former jedi felt all the plants in the garden, the ivy climbing up the walls of the stone fence, the house, the animals and behind her in the house, Rex. He was stirring in his sleep. His body tossing and turning in what she could only believe to be a nightmare of his former life. Gently, she reached out and tried to calm his mind, making sleep easier for him. As long as she had known him, Rex had never been able to sleep very well and often didn't sleep at all. She wondered how he could keep going that way for the rest of his life._

_Finally she calmed him enough to let her mind wander back to the outdoors. The stars shone brightly against the pitch black night. Ahsoka tried to remember the position of some of the ones she had been to when she was a padawan. It seemed so very long ago. The names of those systems seemed to be __dimming in her mind. She hated that she couldn't remember all the things she had seen in great detail like she did when she was younger. Time was distancing her from the life she had before coming to this planet._

"_Christophosis is over there," his voice said cooly from behind her. She hadn't even noticed he was approaching, some jedi she had become if she couldn't even feel when Rex was near. She was going to have to work on her skills more._

"_Where?" she asked peering toward where his finger pointed up into the darkness. Then he was behind her, his body pressing against hers as he pointed her head towards where the star was located in the sky. Her eyes following the path of his finger as it pointed towards the glowing orb in the night sky._

"_It's the blue green one there," Rex whispered in her ear, his breath hot against her exposed flesh. She felt goosebumps rise on her skin, but concentrated on speaking to him and not thinking about his proximity to her._

"_How do you know?"_

"_After we were there and I'd lost so many men, I always made a point to find it in the night sky on whatever planet we landed. I always tried to remember the names of the men who had been left behind. It was just something I wanted to do for them because I wanted them to be remembered by someone."_

"_Oh, Rex," Ahsoka said sighing. "You still feel the pain, don't you?"_

"_Always."_

_She turned to face him, her hands resting against his shoulders. She was acutely aware that the jedi cloak was the only thing keeping him from seeing her in her underclothes. Ahsoka tried to speak, but there were no words for a friend who suffered under the weight of what the jedi had done to them. Suddenly she felt very responsible for the clone standing in front of her. _

"_Don't hurt anymore," she whispered, her eyes probing his face which was so hard to read, even after all this time._

"_I can't stop hurting," Rex finally said, his eyes meeting hers. "It's all I have left."_

_He was right. It was all they both had left. The hurt of being two people who remembered how bad the war was and what it had done to so many people. How it had turned a good jedi into the one person who hated all jedi. How it had killed so many of Rex's brothers and how it had torn the galaxy into shreds, only to be reborn as something evil. She shivered at the thought. His arms wrapped around her to protect her. Rex pulled her closer and Ahsoka rested her cheek against his shoulder. The tears were something she hadn't expected, but they ran down her cheeks in small rivers, marking her orange skin darker._

"_Don't cry Ahsoka," Rex said his voice quivering. "You shouldn't feel that any of this is your fault. We both shouldn't feel like this is our fault. Things would've turned out this way whether we were there or not."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_I know."_

_Then his lips were feathery light against her forehead. The feeling bringing a desire to her heart that she was hiding for all the time since the first encounter in the garden. There was a reason they were together. The force had chosen them to be together. Whatever that reason was, she wanted to honor the fact that they were to be joined in the physical and spiritual worlds. It didn't matter that Rex thought he was "older." What mattered was that they were meant to be here and Ahsoka was ready to do something about it._

_Raising her head, she caught his lips with hers. Rex didn't pull away as her arms snaked around his neck. Her fingers traced the back of his neck as she continued kissing him. His lips were the tonic she needed to relieve the pain she felt. He needed her to figure out how to soothe his soul. She closed her eyes and enjoyed what was her first actual encounter with a male._

_Pulling away from her, Rex's breathing was shallow as though he had been exerting himself physically although he was in peak physical shape._

"_Please," she said placing a finger to his lips before he could speak and change what was happening. "Don't tell me this isn't right. I know what it is and you do to Let's not over think what we have."_

_Rex nodded. He lifted her gently, pressing her body against his, his lips catching hers in a passion filled kiss which spoke of many lonely nights. They explored each other's lips and necks as he held her. Ahsoka knew now that she held what he had wanted since she had come of age. _

"_Show me," she whispered against his cheek._

They had been lovers ever since and had even committed themselves to each other. It had been a small ceremony that they had only witnessed, but it meant so much to both of them. It wasn't everyday that you ended up with the right person.

"I think I'll go and check to make sure everything is locked down for the night," Rex said bringing her from her memories. "You want to come?"

"I'll just clean up here," Ahsoka said indicating the table. Rex's arms were around her before she could finish the sentence and he was lifting her up and kissing her.

"I won't be long."

"I'll be waiting."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you , Thank you, Thank you to all who have reviewed. I have taken a break from writing some of these stories, but as of last week, I was bitten by the inspiration bug once again. I should be updating more frequently. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had such a great time getting back into these characters._

**Chapter 3**

Rex was in the garden doing push ups, Ahsoka sitting on his back in perfect lotus position with her eyes closed serenely. They had been doing this for many years. Her weight helped to keep him in top shape, although as of later Rex had been having rather a hard time doing just a thousand push ups.

When he had been in his prime during the fighting, Ahsoka had seen clones do upwards of two thousand push ups at one time. They were in peak physical shape. What the Republic hadn't banked on was that their age showed rather quickly. With rapid aging came a toll on the body that no one had anticipated.

Ahsoka had read many of the reports that were available on the clones prior to running from the temple. It was not common knowledge that they were only meant to last for a few years only, but most of the jedi knew it. It was their deep dark secret. Ahsoka hated that she even knew and had to watch as Rex aged faster then the digits of his age.

"I'm done," Rex said panting and staying on his belly. Ahsoka opened her eyes and then hoped off of Rex's back in one fluid motion that only those trained as jedi could possibly attempt. "I'm not as in good a shape as I used to be."

He rolled onto his back, his eyes shining at her as she sat down next to him and folded her legs back into the lotus position. It was comfortable for her and it made her feel at ease. Maybe it was because this was how she had spent most of her time meditating as a child. It brought back the peace of when the Republic was strong and hadn't turned into a dark and terrible place to live.

"Well you are older," Ahsoka said and intertwined her fingers with his hand noting how small her hand still looked in his. His hands were rough from working odd jobs and tending the garden to keep them alive. Her hands were still smooth, a trait of her species. Their skin did not age as most humanoids' did.

"Do you have to remind me?" Rex laughed, the smile making the wrinkles on his face more apparent. War had made him hard. She remembered the day that his eyes had changed. They had never gone back either. It was born of all the death that he had witnessed as a Captain. Death that settled in his eyes like dark stones and would never be removed.

"I don't have to say a thing," she whispered. Rex already knew that he wasn't going to live to see Ahsoka get old. That he would die and she would be left alone to take care of herself. It always hurt him when they talked about it. He was protective and fiercely loyal. That was why he had come with her. Rex always had felt like it was his responsibility to make sure she would survive and not be swallowed by the Empire.

"C'mon Snips," he said smiling at her and pulling her hand up to kiss the back of it. He hadn't called her that in a very long time. The name always made her smile, but it also reminded her of a master that had gone the wrong way. A way that he had begged her to follow and she had merely drawn her lightsaber on him and Rex had swooped in to save the day. He had been saving the day for a very long time now. She was sure that he was tired of saving the day by now, but he never showed it to her.

"Captain," Ahsoka said peering at him with her eyes narrowed. The title was now a term of endearment between them when before it had been a name she used for their working relationship on the battlefield. If Rex wanted to whip out the old nicknames, she was willing to play along.

"Let's go to town and go to the tavern for some dinner," Rex said smiling at her. Ahsoka smiled back because it wasn't very often that he felt at ease enough to actually take her into town. Maybe he was thinking that finally people weren't looking for them all the time. Her name had surely faded from the minds of all those who lived on this planet, if they had ever known her at all.

"Well, well," she said clicking her tongue. "Seems like you, Captain, are asking me out on a date."

Rex winked at her and then released her hand and rolled onto his stomach, pushing himself up to stand. "If that is what you want to call it, but I'm not making any promises."

Ahsoka smiled at him. There would come a time when she would have to take care of him and she would cherish doing it. His body would betray him and Ahsoka would be there to pick up the pieces. She would always be there to pick up the pieces, even when he didn't ask her to. She loved him and that meant no questions asked when it came to taking care of the other.

"Get up and get changed," Rex said and tugged her up from ground. He picked her up in his arms and then twirled her around. Ahsoka threw her head back and laughed loudly. There were few times of actual mirth between the two of them. Rex was always worried about being discovered and Ashoka was always trying not to attract attention through any use of the force. It was a strange existence that they found themselves living.

"What should a commander wear to such a special occasion?' Ahsoka laughed as her feet finally touched the ground again and he released her from his grip. It was all too quick for Ahsoka's taste. She would've loved to stay in his arms and in the garden forever.

"I don't know ma'am," Rex said standing straight and smart like a clone did when they were being inspected. It was something she hadn't seen him do very often. It was usually reserved for times when they were in armor. Rex hadn't worn his armor for a very long time. It would give them away and Rex had decided to get rid of it a long time ago. Sometimes though, deep in her heart, she missed the way it looked on him.

"Don't call me ma'am or you're gonna get it," she laughed and shook her fist at him in a faux threatening way. "I haven't been ma'am in a very long time."

"You will always be ma'am to me, but I'm thankful that now you are so much more," Rex said turning a bit introspective. Ahsoka could tell when he was starting to feel sorry for himself and she didn't want him to feel sorry for himself. Rex hadn't done anything wrong, but had done what the jedi and the Republic had asked him to do. There was no shame in that and she knew it. She just wished that he could be convinced of that too.

"Let's forget that," she said placing a hand on his cheek. "It was a very long time ago and we don't need to think of it anymore."

"You're right," Rex said and smiled at her. His lips found the palm of her hand and kissed it. It was amazing how affectionate he had become since those first few weeks of being together. He was like a totally different person sometimes and Ahsoka really liked the change in him, but she also loved the soldier in him. Rex just happened to be the perfect mix of those two things.

"I'm always right," she laughed and skipped away towards the house, her head tails swaying as she went.

"Just try to wear something that will make you blend in," he called. Although Rex was sure that there wasn't anything that would truly make her blend in. She was, after all, Togruta and they were rather rare away from their own planet.

Ahsoka picked at the dinner that she had ordered and smiled at Rex across the table. He had disguised himself so that he was not recognizable as a clone. Although he had let his hair grow a bit and his facial hair had finally grown in, she knew that he still worried about being recognized. Although, in this back water place, Ahsoka didn't think that any of them had even seen a clone without a helmet let alone much of anything else.

"You don't like it?" Rex asked, his deep voice pulling her from her thoughts. He was always afraid that something would disappoint her.

"Oh," Ahsoka said and twirled the fork around and picked up some of the long stringy noodles. "It's great. I just don't want to rush because we don't get to come out very often."

Rex smiled and then returned to the food he was eating. Ahsoka noted that Rex had order several dishes and was almost half way done with most of the food. He still ate. Ate like he would never see food again, but it was because his body burned the fuel so quickly that they needed to replenish it.

"I just don't eat as fast as you do either," Ahsoka laughed and then put her fork into a puffy cream dessert that Rex had ordered to go with his dinner. He smiled at her as she tasted the treat. It tasted almost as good as some of the treats she had eaten at the temple as a child. She remembered those days fondly. She was a carefree person then and didn't know the horror that now consumed the galaxy.

"Well if you aged like I do," Rex said and then moved another cleaned plate out from in front of him. He dove into the next one without evening breathing, Ahsoka was pretty sure.

"You shouldn't talk about it anymore today," she said irritated all of a sudden. Then she realized it wasn't irritation. It was her force sense telling her that they were attracting way too much attention for their own good. Discreetly she looked around the tavern, but didn't see anything that seemed to be a threat to them.

"Rex," she whispered across the table desperate to get his attention. When he finally stopped eating and locked eyes with her, she knew that he could tell that she was upset. They had a type of unspoken language that was only born of being together for a very long time. Right now she was thankful that he knew what she was thinking.

"Where?" Rex asked putting down his fork and letting his hand drift down to where she knew he kept his blaster.

"Not sure," was all she said in return trying to let her blue eyes scan the area and trying to listen to the force without actually touching it.

"Let's go," he said throwing some local currency down on the table and rising from his seat quickly, his hand never leaving where she knew he kept his blaster.

"What if we are walking into it?' she asked as he took her hand and started to lead her from the tavern and out into to the street. She wasn't sure that it was the safest move they could be making, but Rex was the strategy guy and if he said to move, she moved.

The force was now nagging at her, telling her that she needed to stay on her guard. Letting her eyes dart back and forth, she tried to see if anyone was even paying attention to them as they moved through the streets. There was nothing that she could even narrow down and pinpoint. Her force skills were getting rusty. This was a call to maybe practice with them a little more and not fear being found out just because she used the force a little each day.

"I don't see anything," Rex whispered to her as his hand gripped hers like a vice. He didn't want to lose her, but she would need her hand back at some point and she would need it should they have to fight.

"I don't either," Ahsoka said trying to just make any sense out of what the force was telling her. Damn she was too out of practice and putting them all in danger. If only she could feel where the threat was coming from.

They turned a corner and were met with what was causing all the confusion in the force. Standing there was a great sea of plastoid white armor and they were searching houses up and down the street. Ahsoka's breath caught in her throat and she felt Rex's hand twitch as he gripped her to stop her from moving. Nobody was looking their way and they slipped down another street.

"When did they get here?" Ahsoka breathed as they moved as quickly as possible to disappear from the town proper and into the side streets.

"You stand out Ahsoka," Rex said looking at her again. Pointing at her head tails and markings, Rex tried to convey that she would be easy to recognize. It was something that he always feared and constantly reminded her about.

"Just breath," Ahsoka said stopping him from walking and looking into his eyes. "I could be any Togruta who left the homeworld. My papers are current and correct."

They had paid many credits for the papers they had both received. It was the best investment they could make to keep themselves alive. Even though they had the papers, Ahsoka knew that Rex worried about the abilities of the clones to find sliced information. Sometimes knowing all the things that your enemy could do, made things even worse and made every scenario one that was life or death.

"Now kiss me," Ahsoka said sensing that there were troops coming their way. She wrapped her arms around his strong neck and stood on her tip toes so that her lips would meet his. Inside of him, she could feel him struggling because he didn't understand that she was making it so that they didn't get stopped and questions. Sometimes Rex just didn't trust her and he was going to have to learn how to let go and know that she knew what she was doing in some cases.

The troops passed behind the couple and she could see that Rex had one eye on them as they were finally far enough past them to not see them. He pulled away from her and smiled.

"You always know what to do, don't you?" he asked and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Now let's get home," Ahsoka said feeling vulnerable out in the open. At home, she felt safe because Rex took care of her and would do anything to keep her safe. She just hoped that he wouldn't have to kill again for her, but sometimes it was inevitable.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Ahsoka handed him another warm mug of tea and huddled near to him in the garden. He had been on alert ever since they had gone into to town and seen the garrison of troops there. Something in him couldn't rest because he feared what he knew they could accomplish. Ahsoka knew what they could accomplish as well, she remembered their perfect slaughter of all of her brethren in the jedi temple.

"You okay?" Rex asked quietly as his eyes scanned the horizon for the threat that he perceived to be just beyond his sight.

"Worried about you," Ahsoka said and placed her small arm around his waist, leaning into him. Why she would worry about such a strong man, only her heart knew.

"I'm fine," Rex said and then sipped the tea from the mug.

"You aren't. I can feel the distress in you, jedi or not."

Rex sighed and turned to look at her. His brown eyes scanned her face with a gentleness that most wouldn't think he could possess. It was there though. Rex had always been very kind to her from the time she had arrived to be General Skywalker's padawan. In fact, she remembered that Rex had been the only one who had been kind to her at that time. He was truly a stand out among men who all looked alike.

"I have a feeling we are going to have to leave here," Rex sighed and then sipped his tea again, his voice sure.

"I'm sorry," Ahsoka whispered and let go of him. She stepped away and looked towards the horizon, wrapping her arms around herself to make the shivers cease. It wasn't that she was cold, but the idea of leaving a home that she had lived in for so long, was making her shake. It was as though the escape from Coruscant was happening all over again. She felt that she would be ripped from the only life she had known in a very long time.

"Why would you be sorry? I should be the one ashamed because I'm not doing my duty," Rex said from behind her, his voice even and calm. "I'm not taking the precautions that we should take every day!"

"Not doing your duty?" she asked and whirled around to look at him. "You think this is all about duty and what you should be doing? I can't believe you! After all these years you just don't get it do you? I don't want you to do this for your duty. I don't want you to think that you owe anything to me because I'm a General."

Ahsoka felt the anger rising inside of her as she regarded the man before her. How could he be so naive? This didn't come down to how he had fumbled or the mistakes they both had made. This came down to two people trying to make their way in a world that was trying to destroy them. She looked at him and that childlike softness in his eyes made some of her anger melt away, but not completely.

"I didn't mean..." Rex started and then his voice trailed off as he considered what to say next.

Sometimes, Ahsoka forgot that he was a much younger man under the aging body. A body that was threatening to give way on him at any minute. Ahsoka tried to remind herself that he was still very young and didn't know much of the world. But she didn't know much about the world either and it should not be an excuse for him to not know how to deal with this situation. He would have to learn. They would both have to learn. So she opened her mouth.

"This has never been about duty. I'm here because you saved me. I'm here because you thought about me before yourself. Do you not know what is happening to you every single day? Can you not see that you are aging and will die far before me? Can you not see that it breaks my heart all the time?" Ahsoka felt the tears start to fall from her eyes and she fell to her knees. Rex approached her, but she pushed his arms away not wanting to have him touch her. This was something she had to say to him and he had to listen.

"You knew this," Rex said as he stood back from where she was crying. "You knew when we got involved that I was aging faster then the average person. You chose this! Ahsoka you wanted to be with me no matter what and now you tell that there are conditions? I warned you that this would happen and that my going before you would be difficult, but you didn't care. I let you convince me that it was okay."

"There are no conditions for my love. I love you and should I be punished for it? You are the air that fills my lungs and the beating of my heart. I don't want you to feel that you are doing everything out of duty to me. I want you to say that you are doing it because you love me. Because you want me to have nothing to worry about when you are gone. I want you to say you are doing it because you can't stand the idea of not being with me someday. Anything but duty!"

Her breakdown was really rather senseless. She was hurt because she felt that she loved him so much that she might explode, yet he continued to blather on about the duty that he felt to protect her. In some ways, Rex didn't really have any other words to speak about what he was doing. Clones were a rather unemotional group, by nature, but she thought that had changed in him. Evidently she was wrong and didn't understand men at all.

"I'm going to bed," she said sniffling and rising from the ground. Stalking off towards the room they now shared, Ahsoka undressed and climbed under the covers. She sobbed. She sobbed for all those people who were now gone and she would never see again. Ahsoka sobbed for herself because she felt the need to pity all that she was and all that she would never be. She sobbed for the love of a man who would not live to old age and someone she would have to bury, along with her heart.

"Ahsoka," Rex said sadly from the door. "Please don't cry."

Ahsoka didn't say another word, she continued to sob and pulled the blanket over her head. What she wanted was to block him from her mind, to not think about what was happening. It was better to ignore her feelings then have to deal with the pain that it was now causing her. Jedi didn't have emotions and new she knew why.

A hand reached over and laid on her back and then she felt his body warm, next to him pulling her close to him. She pulled the covers from her head, buried her face in his chest and sobbed more, until she couldn't sob anymore. Ahsoka then drifted off to a fitful sleep full of nightmares and red lightsabers.

_The hallway was long and dark. Her head whipped from one direction to the other, but there was no exit. Small feet carried her away from what she perceived to be danger. Ahsoka could feel her headtails flopping against her shoulders as she hurried towards the end of the hall._

_Then she heard it … screaming...screaming...screaming._

"AHSOKA!" Rex said as her eyes flew open and she looked at him with terror in her eyes. "It's just a dream."

"It was so real," she said breathing heavily as though she had been running.

"You're here with me," Rex said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his chest.

Ahsoka let him hold her. Hold her and wipe away the chill from the nightmare. No she hadn't been there, but it sure felt like she was back there. She knew that just around that turn, there was someone waiting to take her away. Someone who she had treated so terribly before. What had come over her? What had made her lash out at him for doing what he thought was right?

"I'm sorry," Ahsoka finally said in a small voice.

"Sorry for what?' Rex chuckled at her, pulling away to look her in the eyes.

"I shouldn't have spoken to you like that before. I'm just so..."

"Frustrated?" 

"Yes. This is happening so quickly and I don't know that it's even necessary. He wouldn't know me if he saw me."

Rex rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Ahsoka could feel him going over what he was going to say. He wasn't angry, just worried. She admired how well he was keeping this all together.

"He would know you Ahsoka," Rex's voice was rather dark.

There had been a time when she had thought her former master dead. Died at the hands of Master Kenobi who had also perished. She had mourned them both for they had been mentors to her. Going on with her life, or what was called a life, Ahsoka had later found out quite a different story.

Rex didn't go into detail when she was younger. The details were very harsh. Master Skywalker had been burned almost to death. Master Kenobi was no where to be found. As she grew, Rex had elaborated on what had happened to Anakin and what he was now. She shivered at the thought of what he had become, but still somehow, she hoped that the true Anakin was there, just buried beneath a soul which didn't know what to do. That she had to hang onto. She didn't want him to be lost forever in the dark cavernous well of what he was now. Somehow she thought it was her duty to save him from that darkness.

"Then we should go," Ahsoka said nodding at Rex. 'It's for the best."

"It's not just for the best, Ahsoka," Rex said. "It's to make sure you are safe."

"Thank you Rex," Ahsoka said and raised her hand to stroke his face. "You never ask for anything in return and you never think about yourself."

"I do it because I love you Ahsoka. There is no other explanation."

They packed all they could carry into two packs and the rest they loaded into a small speeder. Ahsoka turned to look at their small house one last time. Rex was going through it again to make sure that all things that would identify them were removed.

"Seems we're all cleared out now," Rex said emerging from the door. He was limping a little and Ahsoka was a bit worried.

"You okay?" she asked grabbing him under the elbow.

"Just hurt my knee," Rex said bending down to rub at his knee. "Seems to be feeling a bit stiff this morning."

Ahsoka bit her lip. Rex was already showing signs of aging, but she had hoped that the physical signs would not show up for some time. Yes, this might have been just a stiff joint, but her mind jumped right to the fact that it was arthritis or something much worse.

"I'll be fine," Rex said winking at her as he hopped into the speeder. "You coming?"

Ahsoka hopped in next to him and they headed off to the city. They had decided to sell the speeder and several items in town so that they could get transport off of the planet. They would be moving towards the core worlds this time. It seemed that searches went in waves. When they were out on the outer rim searching, the core worlds were safer for someone who was on the wrong. So they were taking their chances and heading towards the core worlds.

Rex had chosen Naboo for their next home. They would live there among the peasants and travelers. Although he had never been there, it looked to be the best bet for them to survive.

"You have your papers?" Rex whispered to her as they entered a check point area. There was a sea of white from the troops. Rex pulled his goggles down over his eyes and placed a hat over his head. It wouldn't pay for him to be recognized by someone who had the same face.

"Right here," Ahsoka said and patted the neat pile of papers in her lap. She made sure to not have to dig through things and draw more attention to them than was necessary. She had learned long ago not to be nervous when she was in a tough situation. It didn't do anyone any good.

Ahsoka reached over and grasped Rex's hand sending him some calming through her touch. He wasn't one to be nervous either, but as of late, he had been more on edge. Perhaps seeing his former brothers in service to the Empire was a bit disturbing.

They waited in a line of several speeders. Each on was stopped and papers were produced. As the troopers approached their vehicle, Ahsoka smiled at them easily and waited for them to speak to Rex.

"Papers," the trooper said tersely and extended a hand towards Rex. The trooper went over the papers and handed them back to Rex. "Move along."

Easily they made their way into town and towards where they had planned to sell the speeder. After they received their money for the few things they had decided to sell from their old life, Rex took Ahsoka's hand and they made their way towards the holding area for transport away from the planet.

Ahsoka smiled easily at Rex as they found a bench to sit on and she huddled near to him. Rex stretched his arm out and put it around her, pulling her small frame closer to his body.

"Papers?" a trooper asked as he stopped in front of them. Ahsoka turned her blue eyes up at the faceless helmet, wondering just for a split second if this would be last time they would be asked for their identification.

Rex slipped the papers to the trooper and bent down to place a kiss on her forehead, just as any couple would do when faced with such a situation.

"What is your business on Naboo?" the trooper asked handing the papers back to Rex, who tucked them into his inside jacket pocket.

"Just want to spend our honeymoon in the grasslands there," Rex said evenly. His voice was similar to the one speaking to him from the helmet, but much of his accent had been lost in the time they had spent on this planet.

The trooper nodded and moved past them to the next group of people. Rex sighed a sigh of relief and held onto Ahsoka even more tightly. They waited until the trooper was out of earshot before they even spoke to each other.

"Honeymoon?" Ahsoka said and jabbed in the side with an elbow.

"I think you deserve as much," Rex laughed as he feigned pain in his side, although she was sure that he had barely felt it. Rex was tough and Ahsoka was just as tough. Two souls born of war and time spent in hiding.

"Well you haven't made me your wife yet," Ahsoka winked at him.

"The day isn't over yet."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They had been on Naboo for several months. Ahsoka no longer felt the pressure of being sought by the Empire. Rex, well he was a different story. His diligence since they had come to the planet was starting to make her as on edge as he seemed to be all the time.

He insisted on going everywhere with her and she knew that she was capable of taking care of herself, but she didn't know how to tell him. Rex had become rather quick to temper in the last few weeks. It wasn't something she wanted to approach with him at the moment. So she kept it to herself, but felt as though it was growing wedge between the bond that they had shared so closely before.

"Can't hit anything," she heard him mumbling to himself as he entered the back door to their new dwelling.

The house was small, just as their other had been, but it seemed roomy just because they were no longer surrounded by desert and the grasslands always made her felling like there was a more open feeling and less the feeling of hopelessness and desolation.

"What are you talking about?" Ahsoka asked looking up from the small kitchen stove where she was cooking their morning meal. She had proved to be quite a whiz with the game and some plants that they had found around the house.

Rex rubbed his eyes and looked at Ahsoka. The look on his face was angry and she couldn't figure out what had him so upset. The ripples that were heading in her direction were rough too.

He put his blaster on the table and then put his hands on his hips as if that should be all the explanation that she needed from him.

"I am having trouble aiming at a distance," Rex finally said after a moment of silence. He plopped into one of the chairs at the table and sighed.

Ahsoka felt herself freeze where she was and she closed her eyes, trying to center herself without reaching to touch the force. He was starting to feel it, she was sure, the fact that his age was catching him. There was no cure for him. There was nothing she could do, but watch him fade away from the great soldier that he had once been into a shell of a person who longed for a life he had lived before. Her heart sank at the thought of having to watch the person she loved the most vanish before her eyes. She didn't really want to think about it at all. She wanted him to be who he had always been, but she knew that it was becoming more and more difficult for that to be the truth.

"I'm sure you are just having a bad day," Ahsoka said, not looking in his direction and trying to keep her voice calm. "It can happen to anyone."

Rex pounded his fist against the table and Ahsoka jumped at the sound. It wasn't like him to be physically violent, but there had been no information on what would happen to the clones as they aged. There were some questions whether there would be genetic deterioration, but it had never been proven and the studies were cut short when the Empire came to power and the Republic had died.

"It doesn't happen to everyone," he said through clenched teeth, trying to hold back his anger from her. "I've been wielding this blaster for more years then I can remember and you are going to patronize me!"

Ahsoka turned around to see the look on his face. This wasn't the Rex that she knew everyday. He was a kind and gentle person who loved with a heart that was beautiful. This was a Rex she didn't want to see again. He was brutal and quick to temper at her. What she wanted was her Rex back and she was afraid that he was lost.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Ahsoka finally asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you want me to tell you that it's okay and that it has nothing to do with the fact that you are aging? I'll make up whatever lies you want to hear."

"I don't want you to lie, Ahsoka," he finally sighed resolving himself to his fate, or so she thought. "If those Kaminoans win and my sight goes then we are vulnerable. I don't want those bastards to win. How could they do this to someone?"

"I can protect us," Ahsoka said and crossed the room to take his hands in hers. She thought she felt him shaking, but wasn't sure. "You have never asked me to protect us, but I can. You know that I have battle experience and I'm not afraid."

Rex sighed and let his fingers intertwine with hers. He seemed very distracted and he seemed very reluctant to put her harm's way.

"The only problem is that if you do ..." his voice trailed off and his eyes became pained.

"Stop!" Ahsoka said placing a finger against his lips to keep the words from coming out of his mouth.

"You know that he will find you."

"I don't fear him. The force would be with me and if it is my destiny, then it wouldn't matter. It needs to be the last thing on your mind."

"I can't let it be. I know what he is capable of and I don't want to see you in pain."

"He won't find me."

"You are naïve for thinking he won't and that he isn't searching for you all the time."

Ahsoka sighed. There was no talking to him. It was black or it was white. If she used the force then their position would be compromised. When it came down to it though, it didn't matter if they were compromised. If Rex was safe, then she was fine. The will of the force would play out her destiny. It had put her here and it had plans for her that she would never know about until they came to fruition.

"_They feel you, don't they?" Rex asked as he leaned closer to the small Togruta who was huddled next to him for warmth. Armor wasn't the warmest thing to huddle against, but at least some of his body warmth came through._

"_I think they can," Ahsoka said. "I'm not for sure. I'm just a padawan and haven't really had many lessons on animals that might be able to sense the force. Master Skywalker didn't get to that part yet. You know the war and all."_

_Rex put his arm around her and pulled her closer. They couldn't have a fire to keep them warm. They couldn't have anything that would give their position away. They just had each other. It was all they had been sent into the field with and now Ahsoka was afraid that she might be compromising where they were hiding. They hadn't known that the wildlife was somehow force sensitive. She was sure that no one knew that or she wouldn't have been the one out in the dark with Captain Rex._

"_Don't panic," Rex said. "Just stay calm and they will think that you are nothing to mess with."_

_That was easy for him to say. He couldn't feel the life teeming around them just past where Ahsoka and he sat huddled. It was easy not to be afraid when you didn't know what was coming to eat you._

"_It's easy to say don't panic when you can't feel what's going on," she said in a hushed whisper._

"_We just have to make it tonight," Rex reassured her. "That is all we have to do."_

"What?" Rex asked looking at her deep in thought.

"Don't panic," Ahsoka said smiling. "That was the best advice that you gave me. I think you should take some of it yourself."

Ahsoka went back to making their meal. Sometimes the smallest things had the largest impact on someone and those words hopefully spoke volumes to him. They were his words, after all.

"You're right," Rex finally said. "I have to trust you and I have to trust myself."

His arms slid around her waist and she turned around easily in his arms. Ahsoka placed a kiss on his lips and chuckled. They had come so far and now as husband and wife, in the Mandalorian tradition, she was ready to build a family with him. She wasn't sure he was though and that was rather difficult to come to terms with for her.

Ahsoka felt the need to be a mother. It wasn't that she wanted to have someone to love her, she had Rex and he loved her more then she could possibly imagine, it was the fact that she wanted a physical representation of what their love meant. She didn't want to be selfish either and bring a child into a world where they would be in danger. She just had to wait. If it was meant to be, she would have a child.

A knock at the door startled her and Rex was out of her arms grabbing his blaster from the table. He signaled for her to go into the small bedroom they shared and Ahsoka shook her head no. His signaling became more persistent and she backed towards the small entry hall to the room, but didn't go in. Rex gave in knowing that she was far enough out of sight from the door.

Quietly, he approached the door and looked out the small pane at the top. He tucked his blaster into the back of his pants and opened the door.

"Census," the man at the door said showing a small ID to Rex and then looking down a his pad which was scrolling through words. Ahsoka could see just enough from her vantage point.

"How many in the dwelling," the man asked not looking again at Rex.

"Two," Rex said precisely in a clipped tone as though he was annoyed with the interruption.

"Thank you," the man said and walked away from the door. Rex closed it behind him and leaned heavily against it.

Ahsoka knew that he would never let up his grip on her. It was moments like this that made he realize that every single move they made could be tracked by someone. It wasn't enough to cover their tracks. They really needed to disappear and never return from the depths of that disappearance.

She hated what her master had done. Looking at Rex she hated it more than ever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Ahsoka awoke, gasping for air as her lungs burned inside of her chest from another nightmare about being chased, and looked beside her in the bed. Where Rex should've been, was an empty space. Reaching out to feel the sheets she noticed that the spot was still warm, so Ahsoka knew that he was not far.

Rising from bed, she pulled her robe around her tightly to repel the cool air of Naboo's night, and went to search for her love. He had become rather restless in the past week and had found sleep so very illusive. When she had suggested that she could help him sleep, he had merely launched into a tirade about Darth Vader. She was having a hard time reasoning with him anymore.

"Rex," she called out into the quiet house. Finally she saw him silhouetted against the moonlight which streamed in through a window. He stood quietly. She approached him and touched his shoulder, he jerked at being caught off guard.

"What's wrong?" she asked clasping his hand as his eyes returned to the window. She searched the horizon to see what he was looking at and found nothing amiss outside.

"I can't sleep," Rex said without looking at her, but he squeezed her hand.

It wasn't uncommon for Rex to not sleep, but since they had come to Naboo, he had been able to sleep just a little, but the past few weeks he had returned to his old habits of staying up. She was worried that the lack of sleep was making him more paranoid than he already, naturally was anyway.

"You should come lay down," she said gently, not trying to act like she was mothering him, but that she was merely making a suggestion. If she really wanted him to follow her, she need only back her suggestion with the force, but that would've made him irritated at her yet again.

"I don't want to," Rex said an edge in his voice that she hadn't noticed when she first approached him.

There was something very different about Rex. Ahsoka thought that his temperament had changed over the last few months, but now it was confirmed. She didn't want to think about what it could mean for her.

Although she had never expressed it to Rex, she had heard many rumors of clones that had merely gone berserk because of some problem in cloning. It was murmured around the jedi temple that maybe the clones weren't completely stable and that at some point in their life they would deal with some mental issues. It was true that the original DNA donor might not be very stable and this would lend to the fact that although clones had been "programmed" to follow orders, there might be some instability built into their genetics which could present itself at a later date.

She didn't say anything and just stood there with her hand clasped with his. He needed her understanding more and more as aging overtook him. She had noticed that his hair was greying even more now and that when he grew a beard, it had hints of grey in it as well. There was no escaping the fact that Rex was entering the latter years of his life far before it was time.

"Did the jedi ever think," Rex started, his voice a bit harsh, "what would happen to all of us after their war was over?"

Ahsoka swallowed the lump in her throat as she thought about all the things that she had been privy to as the apprentice of Anakin Skywalker. What to do with the clones, should they survive the war, was not something that anyone had ever spoken about. It was just a fact that either the council didn't want to face or they had a plan that was top secret.

"Did they know what rapid aging would do to us?" Rex asked again when she didn't answer. Ahsoka knew he was searching for answers that no matter what she said, would not give him comfort, but she had to give him something. She could not take away the fact that he would succumb to age sooner rather than later, but she had to try to calm him.

"Rapid aging was the only way to get you in fighting readiness," Ahsoka said. "I don't think the jedi intended for you to live long enough to find out what it did to you."

It hurt. Tears started to well in her eyes as she thought about how the man she had grown to love was never meant to live this long and yet he did. Rex had overcome so many of the odds just to be standing beside her. Countless battles and wounds had not been able to claim him as aging would soon.

"That's an easy way out for all of you," Rex said with a flat tone.

She hated the way he was referring to her as though she was just a part of a larger conspiracy to make his life miserable. Ahsoka had not been a decision making member of the jedi order, but she was the only jedi close enough to him to incur the pain he was feeling at decisions that were made by them.

"We didn't know what would happen," Ahsoka said again, the tears beginning to make her voice thick as they spilled onto her cheeks.

"That's just it. Jedi never thought past what would be convenient for them," Rex said turning now to face her. She couldn't help but cringe away from him as the anger in his voice rose.

"I wasn't a part of that Rex and you know it," Ahsoka finally said in a voice that was far stronger than she felt. "I was just a child."

"Well I was a child too when the generals sent me into battle," Rex said. "They never worried about putting a rifle in my hands, did they?"

She knew he was right. The clones had not been very old physically when the jedi had led them into their first battles on Geonosis. Ahsoka knew that age to the jedi was merely a number, but to humans it probably did matter. Jedi were trained to defend themselves from the time they could hold a weapon and Ahsoka knew that clones were the same way. They were very similar in that way.

There was no making him feel better. It had taken him many years to voice these opinions about the jedi, but she was sure that he had held these feelings inside for a very long time. There was no doubt that he was angry. She knew that he should be angry for the life that had been forced upon him. He had no choices and now he really didn't have many choices either.

"I blame them for the fact that I will never have a family and I will never grow old with you," Rex said turning back to the window where she was sure he was searching for something to give him solace. Or was he looking at the stars and remembering all of those brothers who were gone far too soon?

A lump rose again in Ahsoka's throat. He thought about being a father, but what man wouldn't when he was in love? She wanted to give him that, but knew that their situation was far too precarious to bring a child into. The fact that he was upset that he would not be able to grow old with her, touched her very deeply.

"Please don't be mad," Ahsoka said and let the tears continue to stream down her cheeks leaving wet tracks that shown in the moonlight. "I will take you for as long as I can have you. I will be the sunshine in the darkness for you. You can't live your life as though you are waiting for death to come and claim you. If you do, you will never live at all."

"Have I really lived at all Ahsoka?" Rex asked turning to look at her again. He used his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks finally showing her a bit of softness even though he was angry.

"Don't you feel alive with me?"

"More than ever before."


End file.
